The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You can't just leave with hair like that
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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