pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
