Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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