Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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