i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
