We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
