I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
