Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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