they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize