Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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