you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
