Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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