I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
