somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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