his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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