fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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