I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize