i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Randomize
