How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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