Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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