whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am one with the molecules
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize