this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
