hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
