The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize