At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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