You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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