We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
