that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
