She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
