I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
