I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
