I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
