so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
