You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
