We're like a lot better than the average bears
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Randomize
