There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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