I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize