Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
