bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
