I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
