What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
