We need to rekindle our bromance
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
