I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
