I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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