have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
