The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize