I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
