One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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