You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Randomize