David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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