i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
