did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize