from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
