idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
