So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
