you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
