she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize