I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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