when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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