The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
