she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize