dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
