When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I believe in your delicious
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
