I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
