Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
