Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I need water and some morals
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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