Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
