mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
