I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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