I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Are we still banned from the library?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
