So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
