His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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