Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
