Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
