I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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