my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
