so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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