Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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