For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize