I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
