I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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