at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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